but there he goes, settling just a little. sora is a fairly impatient person a lot of the time, but there are some instances where he can wait on things to make sure they turn out for the better. this is one of those moments because he's not rushing leo to explain and instead seems to just process what he says.]
See what? What do you usually see? [look he doesn't think this is leo's fault at all right now but he's not going to say that yet until he actually understands what the hell this is about.]
[It's difficult to have a mental break and hold a conversation at the same time--and since his focus has centered on trying to warn Sora, slowly but surely, he's running out of panicked energy. He chews on his lip, almost hard enough to draw blood, and looks around; he doesn't like this, but if he's going to linger near Sora long enough to explain, then they might as well move.
Abruptly, he reaches out and grabs Sora's wrist, dragging him off towards the trucks. (For murder!) He's got surprising grip strength--clearly he's not quite as weak as he looks.]
I don't want you to know its name. [His voice is still unsteady, but he's breathing well enough to talk.] If you know it, you might say it. [And also they might both get arrested just for talking about this but that's the least of his worries right now.] It's--shut up--sorry--wait, have you even heard of Chains?
[even if leo is still having a crisis, at least he's starting to calm down even a little. this isn't really calm, and there's a surprised "hey!" when leo grabs his wrist but he will allow himself to be dragged along even as he stands upright to start walking on his own.]
Okay. [he can understand that. there are just some monsters you don't fuck with. but he's frowning a little because he knows what a chain is, except he thinks that maybe whatever leo's referring to is something different.]
I don't think we're thinking of the same thing. So what's a Chain?
[UGH, why does Sora have to be such a country bumpkin!!! But--well, actually that's probably for the best. They're supposed to be fairy tales, after all. He'd started to wonder if, perhaps, Sora and his friends were involved with Pandora, but the organization must not have that far of a reach.]
I don't know much about them. I've only just started serving the Nightrays. [And it was a fight to get that far; he'd never be allowed to hear any sensitive information I'd the Nightrays could have their way, but he's never far from Elliot, so that's just too bad for them.] But from what I understand, they sometimes escape from the Abyss in search of humans. To devour, or to contract with.
[Hence why he got so weird about Meow Wow for a few seconds yesterday! And he's still a little sus, quite frankly, but--oh fuck, he hopes one of them didn't kill Iris. Oh god. Shit. Fuck!!!
Well, he can panic about that in a minute. With his free hand, he hits his own cheek, hard. Focus, focus.
They've reached the trucks, and he drags Sora inside--and with the closing of the door, everything he'd been distracted from comes rushing back to the forefront of his mind. He lets go of Sora and takes a few steps forward, wrapping his arms around himself as if to stop his trembling.]
...One of them--I don't know why, but... it's likely searching for me. I think. I thought, because this place is so strange, maybe it's far enough away from home, but...
[But now children are dying again, and whose fault could it be but his?]
[he's an islander what do you want from him??? but okay, he is getting the sense there sure is some crazy shit going on there, so he shuts up and listens just this once.
into the truck they go! he leans against the wall, watching leo for a moment and frowning in thought because he's picking up on the fact that leo really thinks he's in danger and that people are now becoming collateral damage.]
They're called Heartless where we're from. They're creatures that're born when a person loses their heart to the darkness. [so he can understand and relate just a little.] So this Chain thing...do you think it would really know where you are?
[Oh--that's... huh. It's enough to get him to look at Sora again--an unexpected response, information he's never heard before, jarring enough to help pause his mental spiraling.
He hesitates, then, staring into the distance again for a long minute. What's happening in that noggin of his? Who's to say.]
...It has before. I thought it was a dream, but--[But now there's a dead 10-year-old out there somewhere, and the reality of his cursed existence crushed him before he could try to stop it.]
...There's no reason it couldn't again. [And last time it found him went HORRIFICALLY BADLY but Leo is never going to tell anyone about that ever so rip.] But I--I don't know what she possibly could've done that would seem like a threat. She was only a child.
[(If he stops to think about it logically for like, five minutes, he'll realize that this doesn't make sense. But he's not really there yet.)]
[surprise, the country bumpkins sure have seen some shit.
anyway leo can take a moment to spiral all over the place and sora will continue to patiently wait.]
She was a child, and that means someone might've thought she was an easy target. [and he's pretty pissed about it, actually. you don't just do that to a child?] But...I don't know if it's something that we brought with us, or something about this place. Things have been weird since we got here. None of our powers work, most of our stuff is missing, and we've been cut off from everything we know.
[Oh, he hates that. He hates that a lot!! He hadn't even stopped to consider that possibility, since he immediately got launched into traumatized panicking.
This place is weird, sure, but more importantly--]
[leo please let someone help you. but sora shrugs a little at the question.]
I'm not sure yet. But it's possible. We weren't able to get a good look at Iris before she disappeared, and it's totally possible it's just something about this place, but...we can't rule out that it was somebody else either.
He's quiet as he mulls that over--eventually, slowly, he sinks down to sit on the edge of the bed. One of his hands digs into the edges of the mattress, gripping it tightly--the other returns to press against his forehead.
If it isn't him... is that better, or worse?
(But it must be, a part of him whispers. Even if it isn't that thing, it's still his fault, isn't it? Just like always?)
He takes another deep breath, lowering his hand.]
...Just--please, be careful. Don't do anything reckless. [Like hanging out with a nexus of death and misfortune, or trying to fight a monster that can't be killed through normal means.]
[WHY DOES HE HAVE A GUN IN THAT ICON anyway leo sits on the bed and sora continues to lean against the wall to watch him carefully. he will give him space, but he's not about to leave yet either.]
That goes for both of us. I don't know what's really happening, but we have to stick together no matter what. [even if leo is a harbinger of death.] We can take care of ourselves. So we'll help take care of everyone else, too.
His mouth twists in obvious displeasure, but he doesn't argue. Mostly because there's nothing stopping him from just leaving the truck and hiding out somewhere if he wants to. (He just might, actually, albeit not tonight.)]
Promise. [It's a bit much to demand of a stranger, but fuck it. He's told Sora this much, far more than he ever would have under normal circumstances--he might as well make selfish demands, while he's adding to the list. He's too far away to grab Sora again, but his voice is ragged, intent.] Promise me you three will be careful. Please.
[They're not friends, not nearly close enough for sentiments like I can't lose you too, but--something before that point, maybe. Something like, The loss of one of you would destroy the other two, and I can't bear to be responsible for that. Perhaps even something as simple as I can't have more blood on my hands.]
[hm. they're not friends according to leo but this is sora who basically, as riku put it "decides everyone is a friend the moment they say hello." so maybe they aren't exactly friends but he can at least understand that this is important.]
We will. I'll keep them safe. [...] And I know they'll watch me, too. We'll get out of here somehow, and if this is something we brought in ourselves, we'll find a way to fight that, too.
[They will never be friends according to Leo, who in a couple of years will make a big old half-crazed speech about that very thing right before he tries to kill everyone and also himself. Don't worry about it.
That last bit gets a halfhearted, disbelieving laugh out of him. Very "yeah, sure, okay." If this really is what Leo thinks it is, then there won't be anything any of them can do about it, but he'll take this anyway. Anything to stave off the despair.]
Don't make me regret relying on you. [Don't fuckin DIE ON HIM PUNK!!!!]
He laughs again, and this one is definitely despairing. God. Please don't thank him for this.]
I wish I hadn't had to. [He wishes a lot of things. That he'd never met Elliot Nightray, for one, even if the thought makes his heart ache a little.] Don't tell anyone else, alright? If Pandora finds out, we're fucked.
Thank you. [For keeping his secret, not for being blindly determined to fix an unfixable problem.
He's not... totally calm, exactly--but he's not the frantic mess he was earlier, and it finally occurs to him that he's been melting down at the poor sap who discovered Iris's body in the first place. God, he's the worst.]
I'm sorry. [For all of--this. For potentially getting a child murdered, even if it was totally out of his control.] Go back to your friends, they'll be worried about you.
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but there he goes, settling just a little. sora is a fairly impatient person a lot of the time, but there are some instances where he can wait on things to make sure they turn out for the better. this is one of those moments because he's not rushing leo to explain and instead seems to just process what he says.]
See what? What do you usually see? [look he doesn't think this is leo's fault at all right now but he's not going to say that yet until he actually understands what the hell this is about.]
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Abruptly, he reaches out and grabs Sora's wrist, dragging him off towards the trucks. (For murder!) He's got surprising grip strength--clearly he's not quite as weak as he looks.]
I don't want you to know its name. [His voice is still unsteady, but he's breathing well enough to talk.] If you know it, you might say it. [And also they might both get arrested just for talking about this but that's the least of his worries right now.] It's--shut up--sorry--wait, have you even heard of Chains?
[There's a lot happening here. It's fine.]
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Okay. [he can understand that. there are just some monsters you don't fuck with. but he's frowning a little because he knows what a chain is, except he thinks that maybe whatever leo's referring to is something different.]
I don't think we're thinking of the same thing. So what's a Chain?
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I don't know much about them. I've only just started serving the Nightrays. [And it was a fight to get that far; he'd never be allowed to hear any sensitive information I'd the Nightrays could have their way, but he's never far from Elliot, so that's just too bad for them.] But from what I understand, they sometimes escape from the Abyss in search of humans. To devour, or to contract with.
[Hence why he got so weird about Meow Wow for a few seconds yesterday! And he's still a little sus, quite frankly, but--oh fuck, he hopes one of them didn't kill Iris. Oh god. Shit. Fuck!!!
Well, he can panic about that in a minute. With his free hand, he hits his own cheek, hard. Focus, focus.
They've reached the trucks, and he drags Sora inside--and with the closing of the door, everything he'd been distracted from comes rushing back to the forefront of his mind. He lets go of Sora and takes a few steps forward, wrapping his arms around himself as if to stop his trembling.]
...One of them--I don't know why, but... it's likely searching for me. I think. I thought, because this place is so strange, maybe it's far enough away from home, but...
[But now children are dying again, and whose fault could it be but his?]
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into the truck they go! he leans against the wall, watching leo for a moment and frowning in thought because he's picking up on the fact that leo really thinks he's in danger and that people are now becoming collateral damage.]
They're called Heartless where we're from. They're creatures that're born when a person loses their heart to the darkness. [so he can understand and relate just a little.] So this Chain thing...do you think it would really know where you are?
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He hesitates, then, staring into the distance again for a long minute. What's happening in that noggin of his? Who's to say.]
...It has before. I thought it was a dream, but--[But now there's a dead 10-year-old out there somewhere, and the reality of his cursed existence crushed him before he could try to stop it.]
...There's no reason it couldn't again. [And last time it found him went HORRIFICALLY BADLY but Leo is never going to tell anyone about that ever so rip.] But I--I don't know what she possibly could've done that would seem like a threat. She was only a child.
[(If he stops to think about it logically for like, five minutes, he'll realize that this doesn't make sense. But he's not really there yet.)]
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anyway leo can take a moment to spiral all over the place and sora will continue to patiently wait.]
She was a child, and that means someone might've thought she was an easy target. [and he's pretty pissed about it, actually. you don't just do that to a child?] But...I don't know if it's something that we brought with us, or something about this place. Things have been weird since we got here. None of our powers work, most of our stuff is missing, and we've been cut off from everything we know.
[so. this likely isn't leo's fault.]
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This place is weird, sure, but more importantly--]
...You think someone did this?
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I'm not sure yet. But it's possible. We weren't able to get a good look at Iris before she disappeared, and it's totally possible it's just something about this place, but...we can't rule out that it was somebody else either.
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He's quiet as he mulls that over--eventually, slowly, he sinks down to sit on the edge of the bed. One of his hands digs into the edges of the mattress, gripping it tightly--the other returns to press against his forehead.
If it isn't him... is that better, or worse?
(But it must be, a part of him whispers. Even if it isn't that thing, it's still his fault, isn't it? Just like always?)
He takes another deep breath, lowering his hand.]
...Just--please, be careful. Don't do anything reckless. [Like hanging out with a nexus of death and misfortune, or trying to fight a monster that can't be killed through normal means.]
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That goes for both of us. I don't know what's really happening, but we have to stick together no matter what. [even if leo is a harbinger of death.] We can take care of ourselves. So we'll help take care of everyone else, too.
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His mouth twists in obvious displeasure, but he doesn't argue. Mostly because there's nothing stopping him from just leaving the truck and hiding out somewhere if he wants to. (He just might, actually, albeit not tonight.)]
Promise. [It's a bit much to demand of a stranger, but fuck it. He's told Sora this much, far more than he ever would have under normal circumstances--he might as well make selfish demands, while he's adding to the list. He's too far away to grab Sora again, but his voice is ragged, intent.] Promise me you three will be careful. Please.
[They're not friends, not nearly close enough for sentiments like I can't lose you too, but--something before that point, maybe. Something like, The loss of one of you would destroy the other two, and I can't bear to be responsible for that. Perhaps even something as simple as I can't have more blood on my hands.]
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We will. I'll keep them safe. [...] And I know they'll watch me, too. We'll get out of here somehow, and if this is something we brought in ourselves, we'll find a way to fight that, too.
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That last bit gets a halfhearted, disbelieving laugh out of him. Very "yeah, sure, okay." If this really is what Leo thinks it is, then there won't be anything any of them can do about it, but he'll take this anyway. Anything to stave off the despair.]
Don't make me regret relying on you. [Don't fuckin DIE ON HIM PUNK!!!!]
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anyway. he hears that laugh for what it is, but he doesn't think much of it.]
I'll do my best. [he can be sincere enough, at least, but he pauses for a moment.] But I never did get your name.
[he can't make someone regret relying on him without knowing who he might disappoint!!!]
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I never gave it out. [Imagine if he just left it at that--but no, he won't.] It's Leo.
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but ah. there's a nod.]
Leo, then. [he'll keep that in mind.] Thanks for telling me all of this.
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He laughs again, and this one is definitely despairing. God. Please don't thank him for this.]
I wish I hadn't had to. [He wishes a lot of things. That he'd never met Elliot Nightray, for one, even if the thought makes his heart ache a little.] Don't tell anyone else, alright? If Pandora finds out, we're fucked.
[Sorry for your disney ears sora]
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Secret's safe with me. I promise. [his disney ears have been getting destroyed since day zero, it's okay.] Whatever happens, we'll fix it.
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Thank you. [For keeping his secret, not for being blindly determined to fix an unfixable problem.
He's not... totally calm, exactly--but he's not the frantic mess he was earlier, and it finally occurs to him that he's been melting down at the poor sap who discovered Iris's body in the first place. God, he's the worst.]
I'm sorry. [For all of--this. For potentially getting a child murdered, even if it was totally out of his control.] Go back to your friends, they'll be worried about you.
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They're always worried about me, I think. [it's said as an aside, like he doesn't want to get into it but he understands.] What about you though?
[he's aware leo probably wants him to leave him alone, but also, he was absolutely having a time? that's concerning.]
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It's a fair question, though, and he takes another deep breath, steadying himself again.]
Don't worry. I'll stay here.
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...all right, if you're sure. But come find one of us if you need anything, okay? We'll be close by.
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But he'll also keep his word and stay put in the truck to argue with the voices in his head, so. There's that.]
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Okay. Take care of yourself, Leo. We'll figure it out.
[off to go freak out about a dead child on his own.]
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